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Thoughts FromThe Four Gates

  • Writer's pictureKai

Why binary thinking is holding you back

I knew for a while that I wanted to write this one, and then I sat down to do it. I struggle with this myself, and I knew exactly what this feels like, but I had days of trouble putting it into any kind of words. I must have started this 5 times, written a paragraph, and threw it out as not exactly what I wanted.

What's funny about that, is that now, I've sat down to write, and I realized that I'm doing exactly that kind of binary thinking WHILE trying to talk about how that gets in the way. I don't have to get it exactly right, because whatever I put out is better than what I had over the past few days.

What I mean by binary thinking here

Here's the thing. Often I see people have all sorts of binary thoughts, especially around their situations that they're doing spellwork around. As a reader, I see people unable to find a middle ground between some things. We all know, like it or not, that your mindset has an effect on the results of your magic. I see folks all the time struggle with seeing movement, or taking steps towards your goal but not getting quite there, as failure. Most often, this is in areas like money. You do a money thing, and turn around and save 300 bucks. That's not failure, that's movement. Just because it's not everything you want, or just because it's a bit different, doesn't mean failure. In love work, going from no contact to talking, to friendship is still success, if only partially. Binary thinking here is the idea that those things are failure.

Let's also talk here about how binary thinking causes us to set goals that are unreasonable or unrealistic. Look, we all want to make a million dollars. I get it. If that's all your money spell is focused on, AND you can't see partial movement as success, then I promise you that first year is going to be a failure (barring you already being close of course). Binary thinking causes us to choose goals that are entirely too big, instead of looking at things as a series of steps. This is a manifestation of that toxic positivity mindset.

If you're telling yourself you failed here, then you're stopping your own movement. You'll act differently, approach things differently, and in ways that mean you feel defeated. If you can't see things moving forward, how do you expect that you can keep the mindset up.

What do we do about this

I'm as guilty at times of this as anybody. What I have to do here is break things up into smaller bits, and actively look for things that are movement. It's also ok to not have something be perfect. I struggled this morning even to write this, and had to settle on the idea that it's ok if it's not perfect. This isn't the best article I've ever written, and isn't the best way I could've done this, but this is what I've done, and it IS success.

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